Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Paige's fabulous Upside Down film ending

Spinning into space by JoshH in Y5


We watched a short film about someone who didn't get pulled by gravity.  One day, they disappeared into space.  Here's Josh's fabulous description about what happened.  I love the question at the end. What do you like about it?

I found myself spinning upwards.  Higher and higher.  When I looked around, a gigantic earth tornado was spinning at me. I was in a dark, dense place it was like a black hole . I glanced at earth it looked 390,000 to240,000 miles away . I couldn’t be that far away could  I? 

Friday, 7 September 2012

Fabulous start to the Y5 term

Year 5 have all begun well; showing off their writing skills.

Here's a great example of Adam 'talking to the audience.' Brilliant!

Plus... fantastic editing with a green pen from Milla. We're on a roll!

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Fantasy shoe stories

 

We enjoyed inspecting our shoe and answering questions about it.  After doing a detailed drawing, we made a rough copy of our shoe and turned it into a fantasy design.  Take a look at our brilliant art work!  We didn't stop there...  We then imagined walking down the stairs, falling into our shoe and ending up in our fantasy land.  Enjoy reading the comments in this post to find out our individual stories.  

Of course, we tried to use our targets so you should be able to spot good openers and language choice as you read them!

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Persuasive explanation from Levi

See how Levi has used his targets this week, wrote a very considered piece and very carefully edited his work. Brilliant!

Friday, 20 April 2012

The Unsinkable - SUNK Y5 Alisha

Delightful style like you really are Eva and there really is Jane reading your letter. Check out the detail... Even the address is thought through! Which newspaper are you going to be editing? I think you could have a successful writing career ahead!

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Ellie W takes the role of Eva who survived on the Titanic

Great writing in just the right style!

Titanic Doomed: Y5 Caitlin C

Superb pieces of writing where Caitlin has actively used her targets and considered what I was looking for.

Titanic Sank Y5 Sumara

Sumara's hard work is clearly paying off here...

Historic voyage ends in a titanic fail... Blake Y5

VERY good writing indeed!

I love the way Blake remembered to jot in the margin what he was going to try and use and ticked it off as he wrote.

Titanic Tragedy from Y5

2 cracking pieces of writing in Max's usual entertaining style!

Titanic Tragedy Recount Letter

See how Megan in Y5 has used a green pen to improve her work and a green highlighter to show off the use of her targets which help her hit the next level of learning.

Saturday, 31 March 2012

Y5 Max being Alex Rider in the jellyfish tank.

Enjoy Max's humorous writing style as he describes being stuck inside the jellyfish tank trying to escape.


Dirty, dirty tank!


When I was stuck in the tank I kept on smashing into the sides. (That is until I noticed that on the sides there was jellyfish leavings firmed onto it!) It appeared that no one had cleared out the sides in ages! Even if I didn’t drown from the water or get killed by the jelly fish I would die in disgust. So I did some quick thinking and burnt the cage broke free and watched the jellyfish eat the evil woman and now she’s dead hooray! 


Despite the fact the jellyfish had helped me I grabbed the harpoon and shot it! (I wish)


Friday, 30 March 2012

Hansel & Gretel swap letters with a witch

Dear wicked witch,

I have to say you are so mean.


Since when have there been a witch that eats children it brought a tear to our eyes it was so evil of you to try and eat us.  You are so lucky that Gretel didn't actually burn you to death.



I am so happy you are in prison for TEN years but if you ever get out I am going to tell dad you are an evil old witch and he may even warn you to leave us alone and get on with life!

From

Hansel and Gretel


Dear Hansel (I suspect it was you that wrote to me)

As I read your letter I began to cry.  I will tell why I tried to eat you.


I was sent a threat letter saying I must catch 2 children and fatten one up if possible the male if there is one.
So I wrote back and asked why I needed to do this and they replied if I didn't they would destroy my wonderful house of sweets and chocolate.


I heard you were being dumped in the woods so I put this strangers plan into action.
I am so sorry if you thought I was an evil old hag.  Really I could never harm a child if I had the choice


Thanks for the letter
Nanny Cloggs



(More hard work from CaitlinM)

Poor Little Red! CaitlinM gets into role again!

Daisy Meadow
Horror wood
BD74 NNP

Dear fairy godmother,


I have been having trouble with life since that terrible day.


Firstly mummy has been very cross with me for speaking to strangers and going off the path.
Granny has not wanted to see me because she was eaten by a giant rabbit!!!


If you can help please reply I am so sad and a bit worried that the rabbit will come back for me.


Thanks for taking time to read this letter please try and think up a way to help me.


Yours truly
Little red riding hood

Caitlin's Goldilocks letters...

You have earned a ClassDojo for these Caitlin.  You are working hard!


Dear the three bears,

I am very sorry about what I did.


Please try and forgive me as I thought the youngest bear would be so friendly to me.
I will replace EVERYTHING I have damaged and get each and every one of you a little something when I go to Blackpool.


If we do make up would you like to come with me. My says yes to everything plus she loves bears what a bonus so please reply to me oh and what time would be suitable to send the furniture to you house.


from Goldilocks
  xxx



Dear Goldilocks,

Thanks for the sob story we will forgive you on one condition you promise to never brake into our house ever again.  
Sorry this letter is so short but really we don't know what to say.

We wish you the best of luck in life.


From the three bears
 xxx


P.S Send the furniture at 1.30pm on Friday.

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

3 little pigs... a different view

Caitlin M in Year 5 has just sent me a fabulous piece of writing taking on a character from the 3 Little Pigs.  


I'll say no more but it's a must read below...

Dear Mummy pig,

I have been desperate to talk to you since... that terrible day. The day I nearly died.



Well, I met a man with some straw and built a house but than a nasty fox came along and blew it down with just one huff and puff.


It was so horrible to see my wonderful house being destroyed by a FOX. I mean... I know the story of the three little pigs having their houses blown down by a wolf but, seriously, a fox! How unoriginal! Since when has there been a fox that can blow a house down? It is just crazy!


Anyway more to the point...  Are you okay? I am fine. I was only in hospital for 2 days.


I know you might not want to talk about him but how is dad? Is he and his goose girlfriend happy? Please, please, please with a cherry on top try and get back with him as it would mean the world to me if you did.


Love loads
Polly pig
xxxxx


Wednesday, 8 February 2012

The Lost Star, by Katy Y5


It was a stormy night when a twinkling shadow fell from the sky. The shadow fell swiftly into a fast flowing river waiting for someone to find it.

Eight years later a small girl was born.  Her thoughtful mother named her Emmalisa. She had long golden hair that glimmered in any weather. When Emmalisa was only nine she was surprisingly the most beautiful girl in her home town named the Golden City which was named after the sparkling stars in the night sky.

Because Emmalisa was so small she never got to see the stars. So one night Emmalisa secretly slipped out of her room to see the stars .She crept down the creaky stairs and went into the kitchen. Emmalisa (who was still in her spotty pyjamas) slowly reached into the cupboard and grabbed the metal keys that opened the front door. Emmalisa crept outside and locked the door behind her and left the keys in the lock.

After Emmalisa had walked for a couple of minutes she stopped in front of a vast, flowing river there was no way of getting to the over side so she turned around and headed for home. Then Emmalisa looked up at the night sky to see that there were no stars at. All Emmalisa could see was total darkness. But then out of the corner of her eye she saw a light shining at the bottom of the endless river. Emmalisa closed her eye thinking it was all a dream.  Then she opened them.  It wasn’t…

Without thinking Emmalisa jumped into the river! What she didn’t know was that the giant river was so cold but it was too late. Emmalisa was already in. Emmalisa plunged into the racing rapids, closing her eyes as she slowly drifted to the bottom! A few seconds later she opened her eyes to see that she was still under the water. Emmalisa reached out and grabbed the glowing light. Emmalisa suddenly panicked as she saw a dark shadow moving towards her.  She quickly swam to the surface gasping wildly for air.  Her hands were still clutched together. Emmalisa gradually made her way to the edge of the river as she shivered. Then she leaned over the side trying not to fall in.  Then Emmalisa saw the dark shadow was only a small fish.
As Emmalisa walked home she felt something moving in her hand.  She tried to ignore it but it was so hard not to so she opened her hand and saw the  light that she had found in the river. Before she could say a word the light shot up into the sky like a bullet. Emmalisa looked up in surprise to see all the stars were back shining as normal. Emmalisa didn’t know what to say so she just ran back to her house to see her mum and dad waiting there.

The next morning Emmalisa woke up still trying to figure out what had happened that night.

The Last Hope by Blake, Y5


10 years ago something that could change the world forever happened... one man defeated the blood sucking dolls and the ghost pirates. They were going to take over the entire world forever, but this man had no fear. He set off at the exact date of the 31st January 2002. This is the year that they called the scariest of all. This man set off feeling brave and buoyant.  But little did he know what was in store for him on his very long journey ahead. He had the power to do anything with the world.

 When he was out of the city he heard a strange noise coming from behind him. “What was it?” he thought.   Then the thing behind him pounced at him menacingly.

The thing hit him so hard he got knocked out, so the beast dragged him away. When he woke up he was in a strange, rotting place with bones scattered all over. He gulped hard trembling with fear. He thought that this was the end of him and most importantly, the quest! But when he observed the beast he noticed that it was sleeping. Then he saw that the door was open. This was his chance to escape! Now he knew that his quest and his life were not over.

But just as he got up, the beast heard him and quickly got up to stop him from escaping! He gasped, but then he built up confidence and fought bare handed! The beast was tough but that didn’t stop him from fighting, and with one punch on the nose the beast was defeated. He felt undefeatable. “No one can stop me,” he thought. “I am invincible!” Then he noticed an immense mountain so he decided to climb up it,” This is taking forever” he said to himself. Finally he reached a cave full of bats and just beneath the bats he saw a cryptic door.

On the door there was a picture of a skull and crossbones and a doll with blood in its mouth. This must be the secret base of the bad creatures. “But how do I get inside? There must be a way!” Then he remembered that he could do anything,  so he made a sarsen come and break down the door,  “It worked!” he said in joy “This might actually come in handy.” So with that he entered the mammoth humid base covered in blood and bodies. Then he heard a doll coming his way, “I’m doomed!” he whispered

Then, just around the corner, came a whole bunch of blood sucking dolls.  “Shall I escape or shall I fight?” he thought . Then he started to battle the beast. The first hit was from the beast but in his pocket he found a knife so he used it against them and won. Then came the pirates but when they saw the dead dolls they got terrified and went to hell.

Will you remember 2002? 

The Crystal by Levi, Y5


One ordinary boy called Jonathan found a teleporter in an old shack. It was all rusty and looked very old.  It was silver and gold.  Jonathan ran in the teleporter and ZAP! In a flash of lightning Jonathan was gone. Jonathan had gone where nobody has ever discovered before. Jonathon thought it was marvellous but suddenly he heard an echoing sound coming from beneath him (he assumed).   What’s  that? He went to see what it was.  When he went down a rocky path, he saw a scaled monster. It was as smooth as a cotton fleece with hands as light as a feather and it had a big round black nose with a tremendously long tail. 

Jonathan wondered if he would have to kill it before it killed him so he ran away to a cold, damp grey cave.  Inside the cave Jonathan laid down to try to get some sleep, but he saw a shiny, see-through green crystal. It was the most powerful source ever made.  He picked it up and it turned all his arms, legs and his body into crystal.  He could shoot crystals out of his hands and when he slipped it now wouldn’t hurt him. He was so powerful that he could pick up a fully grown tree. One day he found a tremendously big griffin.  So he thought that he would be smart about this.  He slyly crept up to the griffin and pounced on the griffin and grabbed its hair and went for a ride on it. Up they went  but on the way there Jonathan spotted a hovering marine ship but there weren’t just marines in the ship.  They were robot marines.  They were gold and red with a sparkling yellow machine gun.  They were heavily armoured with a helmet as strong as steel.  Jonathan did not know that they saw him.  Suddenly the marines slid down a rope.  There was silence but then there was war.  The commander announced, “Attack!”

The herd of marines ran towards him. Jonathan started to fire the crystals out of his hands but there were just too many of them.  Jonathan had an idea.  He pointed his crystals at the sun so the brightness blinded the marines but it didn’t stop them.  They just kept on running towards him.  Jonathan started to run towards them.  He started to kill them with a grin on his face.  He threw them all over the place.  He tore them to pieces and stabbed them all over.  Finally there was one soldier left... the captain. All of a sudden his crystal was out of power.  He transformed into his normal self.  The captain bellowed out loud saying, “You put my soldiers through all this!”

The captain was so mad he shot the boy in the neck but Jonathan still had some power left in him.  Jonathan picked up his crystal and stabbed him.

Jonathan died with pride.